New blog, check out my profile :D

I don't like my other blog.. so I am back here again :P. So HI BLOG!

I wrote this sitting at North Head today... in draft form, but I thought I'd put it here... Will publish a more refined form when I've fiddled around with it.

"Vertigo:
no time or place
peace in unknown depths
higher than the seagull flies
one with the horizon
at dizzying heights
capture eternity
through manufactured lenses
clouds stirring
misty surface
simmering
wildflowers
taking the plunge
knitting sandstone cliffs
together through
roots embedded in time
as the sea whispers below
calling
souls answer
some fly, or fall
down past city sight lines
into an abyss of sea. "

And that's it. Byebye blog.

Yay for my cooking skills and whipped cream! A sponge cake, sausage rolls and spaghetti bol all in 24 hours! And yay for good company! :D

Well, I guess I don't know anymore. About what? About... how I want to live life. But I guess I have the holidays to work it out.I don't even know what the 'it' is, but in the last few hours I've made a cream sponge cake with strawberries, cleaned up the kitchen, did all my washing and took the garbage out. This is not normal Emily behaviour. :P

Blehh. And I am going slightly crazy, i think I know why I liked my outgoing behaviour, because it was a release. And it feels good, even if for only for a few hours... It's harder for me to take control myself and do other things. Which I am doing!! Whichis good. But I guess the right way to deal with things isn't always the easiest?

Wooo new layout... I think it works.

ahhhh no idea why 'undefined undefined' shows up under each post o.0

She's no saint
But she'll bring you to your knees
Try her boy, but she'll still do what she please
Do you believe in science? She's perfect chemistry
She wanted my love but I gave her the rest of me..

If London's calling don't you dare pick up the phone
Only you entwined
Could make this orphan feel at home
Lips that need no introduction, but now waiting for your call
If a picture's worth a thousand words
Then your touch is worth them all
Worth them all...

- Dance, Dance Christa Paffgen, Anberlin

I'm sitting in the backseat of our car. The rain is bucketing down on the m4, we are returning home from dropping rory home. Bon iver is playing loudly in the stereo, all is silent except him and the rain. It's beautiful.... Peaceful. And to know that somehow everything is ok... It may have something to do with the boots i am wearing, but i feel like i've restored the confidence or trust in myself. Well that its on the repair anyway... It's nice to have this feeling without any external influencing factors.... Then again, it may be the boots. Or the fact that i actually put effort into how i looked today... Who knows. I know that is at this very moment, i feel content. Of course this is subject to change at any given moment, but i'll relish it while i have the chance ;)

The question is what do i want. What do i need... I think i've tried every type of escapism this week. I want to be held in someone's arms, i want to feel loved, i want to stop trying to run away from reality and start enjoying it. I want to live life. I'm sick of the talk of alcohol and sex, sure they are fantastic but shouldn't they compliment other elements in life and in relationships, not just be a sensation? I dont know. its incredibly frustrating because its so easy for me to succumb to alcohol and i am just over this whole thing.

I,ve always been a bit of everything, never one group or personality. i am so tired. Emotionally, physically etc. But i can't seem to be getting any sleep... I want to go to a beach, walk along at midnight, watch the stars... Dream.