Spring is here! I know because i think i have hayfever. XD. So i'll be taking some hayfever tablets tomorrow haha. Well i think i'll be like one of the only people in my grade at school tomorrow because tonight, well right now, is our year 11 formal. I didn't go and now i think i have finally come to terms with my decision. Yes, i chose not to go. ALthough i did choose a concert over the formal and now i don't think i am going to that concert, i did choose not to go. And now i am finally ready to say that yes, my mum didn't like the sound of it and i really did want to go, but i guess I didn't really feel safe. And I'm going to be obedient to God and i guess that's all i can do. "Do not conform any longer to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test God's will...." or something along those lines. I just feel like something bad was going to happen there tonight.. and maybe nothing will happen!! But i'm going to trust God.. and that's all i can do. You know, one thing i've noticed throughout my life is that i am incredibly stubborn. But also i have a tendency to stand strong in my opinion- whether i stand strong verbally is another matter- but i have never really backed down on my 'morals' if you want to call them that. I won't do something everyone else is if it compromises what i believe in and what i stand for. Also, if i am just being incredibly stubborn, i won't do what others tell me to do :P. I really dislike the feeling of being pushed into a mould or a box and having other peoples expectations thrown on me and to act or be like who everyone wants me to be. And i know i might ramble about this way too much.. but i guess i am human, and by me rambling on about all this stuff i guess i am reaffirming my beliefs and my belief in myself. If i can be completely honest with you the last two weeks have been rather hard. And the last few days.. have been like woaha. I'm struggling, but i am getting there. I really would have loved to go the formal, but my conscience wouldn't let me go. And it's much harder to go against the crowd that to stand along with it. That's right. Picture the salmon trying to get upstream. Classic image. Except my motive, unlike the salmon, is not to go against the flow to get upstream and find a mate. It's just that all today people were like 'who are you going as to the formal??' like allll day.. i love fancy dress! but i am being obedient and yeahhh... (i should probably explain the circumstances.. supposedly there will be more people from other schools than my school and there will be looooads of stuff that shouldn't be there)... I dunnno. i've just got to be strong i guess and i believe that it was for a reason. This blog is a lot more personal haha. I feel a bit vulnerable writing all this up and everyone being able to read it.. o.0 . Anyway i'll leave you blog with a bible verse i found this morning: "Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed" says the LORD who has compassion on you." Isaiah 54:10 So I'm going to go and have a shower, wash my hair. It's always great to wash your hair. I think I am learning how to be obedient to God and to have the self discipline to follow it through kind thing. Whatever it is, i'm sure its for a reason... hmm somewhere it says 'lean not on your own understanding'. I don't understand. So I trust God. :D.