Wow, today was hectic. I feel so drained o.0. Haha i maxed my library card out, had to put some books back.. so i'm on the 20 items limit. I didn't realise there was a limit.. probably a good thing.

Bought some trippy coloured looking candles that look like mushrooms. I think i won't burn them, they are so pretty! And also, they look a bit too trippy ... don't think i'd want to smell them...

Everyone is so young at school. I'm seriously considering finishing this term and then finishing my HSC through tafe next year, and going extra subjects that can be accredited to my uni degree. I feel like i'm on a completely different level.. i mean they are great and all.. but its all so.. shallow. There is so much more than school. It took me a while to realise, but now that i do, it almost makes me see through people. There is more than marks, gossip, lessons, teachers, ensembles, costumes, leave passes, vice-principals, uniforms and major works. There is something so much more beautiful than that. Outside that. I don't know what its called... life? The world is so much bigger than all that.

Who knows. Maybe i want to jump into a world more 'real' that school. I guess i don't feel like a school girl anymore. I put on the uniform but i don't really care anymore. Maybe i'm being stubborn, going into 'i can't cope with anything typical depressed persons thoughts' thing. But at least i am thinking again. And i can process. Apart from feeling sick. o.o .

What do I want to do with my life? I want to write, challenge, change people's opinions. I want to catch ferries across the harbour. Go camping near a beach. Swim at the beach, read all of shakespeare's works. I want to stay up with cups of tea and candles talking about anything and everything. I want to learn about the mind, what makes us work, think. I want to challenge people's perceptions, leave a body of works that people read in the future and are effected. I want to live a life thats connected to nature, myself, god and my friends. I want something geniune, something thats worth it. Stuff facebook and 'friends', I want real relationships... Thats the direction I want to be going in at the moment. I don['t want to comply to become a materialistic brat that ends up at 40 with a midlife crisis and a fucked up life.. thats not me. I want to live each moment, at it is. I'm taking each day as it comes. I want to change the world- it may not be a big change, but i want to leave something. Do what I can.AND GETTING A UAI OF 305 WON'T DO THAT FOR ME! Ok, i know i need a uai. Are you getting my point? There is so much more than school, than marks. And the irony is, the marks get you to the point where you can do what you want too.

I think thats enough thought spilling for this entry.