Sooo yeah. School tomorrow. Essay due tomorrow. HSC really begins tomorrow. Etc.

My goal this year is to be a person at the end of this year, not a number. I need to keep my mental health my priority... and maybe I won't do as well as I could do but at this point in time I really need to focus on getting better and managing everything :). Which I will do. :D. I'm not sure whether I have gotten better or worse since last term, but I do know that I have had a great opportunity to relax... and get some peace of mind.And that is always important. Although I get so frustrated about the stigma of mental health. Yeah, I don't really like talking about my 'personal well being' (to say it politely) with everybody and everyone, but there is such a lack of understanding in our society about it. So i suppose if i slightly mention it on this blog here and there (not that many people read this) and if one person is more aware of mental health, than I'll be happy. It's so incredibly frustrating for me because when a person is physically sick it is quite obvious but when a person is mentally sick- which could have far worse consequences- it is not obvious and there is hardly any awareness or understanding. And at the moment I am quite annoyed with this 'self help' book that I found. I picked it up (it was a Christian one) but i was infuriated about the way they went about it. Yes, I know i have been suffering these symptoms.. you don't have to talk to me like I'm stupid.. it just made me feel even more guilty that I wasn't a 'good Christian girl'. Yes, i know. Christians aren't meant to be perfect- everybody has their problems. Just the wording of the book got me started because it was like it was my fault i had been feeling 'those symptoms'. I might have let a few things go and maybe if I was more organised things may not have turned out this way, but to open a book like it did is just ridiculous. The jargon as well... o.0. My relationship with God doesn't involve 'jargon'- it involves God and I. He has pulled me out of depression before, and i know He can do it again. But I just don't need those type of books making me feel like i've done something wrong to deserve this when I know I haven't... isn't believing you have a sickness from sin an Old Testament principle? An understanding doesn't throw psychological theories about. That's what this book did.. started off with the girl who had everything but lost a boyfriend and became depressed.Come on! If you are going to write a book on depression, make it appeal and relate to the 'depressed person' so they will actually read it and change. Not throw the book back on the shelf and never pick it up again.

Sorry bit of a ramble there. But I feel better now. :D!

Hi Blog! Sorry that I have neglected you for a long time. That last term was my first term of my HSC (Oh the juxtapositioning and irony of that!?!) and turned out to be a very, very interesting term. In fact the last 3 months have been really interesting. I've just got to keep walking, and I know I will make it through. I kinda have to anyway, since this is my last year at school, dare I think about it. I'm really excited about the possibilities beyond school but I am also going to miss the school structure!! I won't jump the gun or speak to soon though, as I have a whole year to say my goodbyes. Less than that actually, but I won't go into specifics.

My holidays have been great! I don't feel like rambling on about it here because I will be bound to miss something out, so come and talk to me if you would like me to ellaborate on what I've done. To give you the short version I've been to my grandparents house, The Basin and in the Southern Tablelandsish area and I've had all sorts of adventures! So if you have nothing else to do, feel free to call me up and we can chat, (not just about my holiday :P) OR CALL ME UP and say: "Emily, let's to coffee" and I'll squeal and say: "Sure thing!!". (And if you said "Emily, let's do Max Brenner" and you were an attractive male, I think I'd squeal even more.. or faint :P).

If there is a reader reading this, I hope you are having a fantastic holiday!!! :D!

If the thunder cloud
Passes rain
So let it rain
Rain down on me...

Mmm, so let it be.
Mmm, so let it be.

Sleep
Sleep tonight...
And may your dreams be realised


Love this song. MLK by U2. :D!