and..

And the song sometimes....

http://www.yoav.ru/lyrics/sometimes.html

I could listen to his album forever!

I love this song

http://www.yoav.ru/lyrics/angel-and-the-animal.html

Go to last fm, and listen to it. Yoav is amazing.

ramble

Bleh. I find out today whether or not I got into tafe! Kinda weird, i didn't realise their was a selection process... the campus is really nice (stained glass windows!) and very cute indie guys go to tafe. So that's where they have all been hiding my whole life. Lol! At the moment i'm feeling angsty. So don't believe anything I say! I'm just feeling very angry and frustrated. But i don't know why! I'm excited about tafe and whatever, but sometimes i just feel invisible. But i know i'm not. Or maybe i'm just really freaked out about whats going to happen in the next month.. maybe scared of being forgotten? I dunno... I really don't know. I think i'm more scared about going back to where i was 6 months ago... And then there's this whole God thing. I'm trying to focus on god, not the people who think they are god.. do you know what i mean? I guess i've always based my interpretation of God on the people in the church or in my family, but the truth is he's probably not like any of them... I'm sick of all these contradictions, rules, and guilt trips that i've made myself believe... Like for example , since i was like 11, i've been told not to have sex before marriage. And thats really messed up my idea of relationships, because i was so scared of any physical/emotional contact in case i disobeyed God. SOunds stupid, but i have never been able to tell people what i really feel about them, and missed tonnes of opportunites. WIth friendships, family, and relationships. But where does it all come from? Am i just a messed up eleven year old still clinging on to her beliefs and hoping things don't change? Still stuffed up from when i first got told i was moving out to penrith without my dad? Fuck, i don't know. I can't trust male figures, and i'm only really learning nowhow to trust male friends properly. Welldone to my family for screwing me up! SO what is my point exactly? i don't know. I'm feeling angry and screwed up.


I suppose that feels better rambling.

Apart from a bit of food poisoning, things have been good! (how i regret eating that lovely piece of gozomele (no idea how to spell it), it tasted good at the time but ooh so deadly..)Yesterday i got kissed by a drunk irishman in an irish pub, very random.... Tried some guinness, i think its an accquired taste. Got a hammock yesterday too :D - just need a hammock stand. Saturday night was fun in Manly, "Ola!". Still want to have that mexican party. Big hats, jellybeans and tequila- ola! I'm enrolling at tafe tomorrow... i'm a bit nervous but still pretty excited :D

ramble again.

Got my new mp3 player today. From ebay! At half the price, and it was sealed. I love ebay. And sony. :D I've never had a colour mp3 player before, so its rather fun. Listening to live and let die by guns and roses at the moment... some reason i really like it at the moment. It reminds me of a james bond theme??

Hmm it was so hot today... did 3/4 of the laundry, did osme gardening.... and some washing... so that was good. So far everyone i have talked to are happy with their uni preferences.. and B is staying in sydney! woo... On friday i'm trying to organise something fun! We have a list to get through... so so far, its a mexican theme get together, with jelly beans, big hats and tequila. (All in moderation of course, wouldn't want to wear too many big hats :P) I guess what i've been thinking about lately is my habit of friendships. Its weird, its like i'm not letting myself get close to anyone, and i caught myself out the other day doing it... I almost feel uncomfortable when when someone tries to find out more about me... it was just a weird sensation.. i seem to have scattered myself around with so many friends, of course there is nothing wrong with that at all... I guess i just need to start taking more chances, stop playing friendships safe. Get down to the gritty stuff, let more people in. Etc. I seem to freak out when peopole get too close, or discover what i'm feeling about them. Oh well. something i can work on. I think too much...

Tafe enrollment day coming up soon!

And welcome Obama :D:D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

life!

Life has been work, sleep.... and The Dark Knight thrown in. I've had my moments- good and bad! And thats all for now= dinner calls!

reflection

I've just been reading over my blog from two years ago. My my, how i've changed/. Looking back I'm actually astonished of how far I've come and what I have achieved. I've also remember the low points I've had... man i never want to go back into that headspace again.
I'm really looking forward to this new year, everything seems to be coming together, or more specifically, I feel like i'm coming together as a person. I think it will be exciting to see where this year leads me...

Sunrise

Fighting daylight
With wishes of time
Denial of the night passed
And the day started
Birds laughing at our foolishness
Of our beliefs
That we are beyond
The jurisdictions of nature

Fighting the truth
With closed eyes
Hiding the beginning ahead
And sweeping the path behind us
With every word
An awakening spreads
Of what we could be
Bound together
With a tartan sheet...

I love insitu! And live music! And wonderful friends... and max brenner and yogo <3

ANGST!!!!!!!! That's how i feel.
No idea why. Had to stop playing the guitar in fear that i would break it... and both my hands are sore- one from blisters, the other from strumming crazy patterns. .... need some release? Tomorrow= run.

2009, bring it on. With exercise and crazy guitar playing.