It appears my blogs have turned into a few words here and there. Wow.

Today was really difficult. I got told that I was meant to be absent and was sent home. I have an estimate for my english HSC... but it feels so weird... It used to be my pride and joy... my best subject. My medication is going up again after my bio exam because apparently my cognitive skills haven't come back- hence my inability to beable to process essays. But i am so much better than I was this time last year. I'm aware of everything now and I know how to keep everything under control... well I know what to do and what not to do.

This time last year I was in denial about everything that ever hit me, running on anxiety and trying to do everything for everyone else but myself. I think now though I'm comfortable with accepting my little issues etc because everyone is not perfect. I was trying to be perfect!!

Don't mind me blog, just trying to make myself feel better.

Going back to school though has been really strange... I feel like there's this big age gap or maturity gap. They're all so excited about their HSC and have got it all planned out... oh, the naivety!! It reminds me of how we all were... "I can't believe we're in year 12!! " etc.

In some aspects I feel like I've failed. In others I haven't.. depends on what the marking guidlines are.... i guess i'm not the perfect-average-student-who-does-everything-and-loves-everyone kinda girl anymore. I'm Emily, taking each day as it comes... and focusing on developing myself and my mind, not 100%'s. And until this has all past, i'm going to have to accept that......

No idea where this was going. Anyway I am rather sleepy, althoughI did sleep four hours today already...goodnight xo.

Well on Monday, my Deputy Principal suggested that I take 2-3 days off school.. to relax and take a break. And NOT to do work. o.0. I never knew you could actually suffer from exhaustion.. I went to the doctor today, he took a blood test (I got to eat a lolly :D! And he put a cotton puff over it...)& discussed numerous things.. and i have a long appointment on monday where we will discuss the results. So yeah.. I'm not on my death bed! Never fear! I'm just having a break :). I think it'll take at least one more day for me to actually relax :P. It's actually stressful not being able to do work or go to school. I woke up this morning really 'AHHHH'ing because i thought i forgot to wake up my sister for school. I just need to get all this stress and anxiety out of me!

Anyway, i have a medical certificate until the end of this week. :). I'm going to sleep now.. but blog, rest in the fact that I am ok, and everything is being sorted out. And everything can only get better. :)

I refuse to be a statistic.

And hear me, I will NEVER go back there again. Never.

My perspectives will be clear, expectations will vanish, and I will get through this.

I will get through this.

I might be slightly sloppier than a dogs breakfast, and just a tad emotional but I will get through this.

I've got the God who created the universe on my side- and I can do all things through Him who STRENGTHENS me.

I will not let this get to me. I will get through this. I will.

I don't care how many tears it takes- I will get through this.

I will get through this.

The end of year 11 has come. Prelims start- monday. Year 12 starts- next term. I swear the last week and a bit even the smallest things have been getting to me. O.0. And then suddenly I switch from this crazy stressed mood to a really crazy mood.!! STress! Change! OH! SPeaking of Change i must do english. Goodluck all!