And that's it. Byebye blog.

Yay for my cooking skills and whipped cream! A sponge cake, sausage rolls and spaghetti bol all in 24 hours! And yay for good company! :D

Well, I guess I don't know anymore. About what? About... how I want to live life. But I guess I have the holidays to work it out.I don't even know what the 'it' is, but in the last few hours I've made a cream sponge cake with strawberries, cleaned up the kitchen, did all my washing and took the garbage out. This is not normal Emily behaviour. :P

Blehh. And I am going slightly crazy, i think I know why I liked my outgoing behaviour, because it was a release. And it feels good, even if for only for a few hours... It's harder for me to take control myself and do other things. Which I am doing!! Whichis good. But I guess the right way to deal with things isn't always the easiest?

Wooo new layout... I think it works.

ahhhh no idea why 'undefined undefined' shows up under each post o.0

She's no saint
But she'll bring you to your knees
Try her boy, but she'll still do what she please
Do you believe in science? She's perfect chemistry
She wanted my love but I gave her the rest of me..

If London's calling don't you dare pick up the phone
Only you entwined
Could make this orphan feel at home
Lips that need no introduction, but now waiting for your call
If a picture's worth a thousand words
Then your touch is worth them all
Worth them all...

- Dance, Dance Christa Paffgen, Anberlin

I'm sitting in the backseat of our car. The rain is bucketing down on the m4, we are returning home from dropping rory home. Bon iver is playing loudly in the stereo, all is silent except him and the rain. It's beautiful.... Peaceful. And to know that somehow everything is ok... It may have something to do with the boots i am wearing, but i feel like i've restored the confidence or trust in myself. Well that its on the repair anyway... It's nice to have this feeling without any external influencing factors.... Then again, it may be the boots. Or the fact that i actually put effort into how i looked today... Who knows. I know that is at this very moment, i feel content. Of course this is subject to change at any given moment, but i'll relish it while i have the chance ;)

The question is what do i want. What do i need... I think i've tried every type of escapism this week. I want to be held in someone's arms, i want to feel loved, i want to stop trying to run away from reality and start enjoying it. I want to live life. I'm sick of the talk of alcohol and sex, sure they are fantastic but shouldn't they compliment other elements in life and in relationships, not just be a sensation? I dont know. its incredibly frustrating because its so easy for me to succumb to alcohol and i am just over this whole thing.

I,ve always been a bit of everything, never one group or personality. i am so tired. Emotionally, physically etc. But i can't seem to be getting any sleep... I want to go to a beach, walk along at midnight, watch the stars... Dream.

So i am sitting here in bed trying to get up. I smell like garlic because the meat i ate last night was seasoned too heavily. I'm getting a lift at 8... Bleh.

It's been fantastic to catch up with people the last few days. on a completely unrelated note, i just realised how tired i was/am. I could go back to sleep.... Then again being a walking zombie around the city is very appealing... Don't get me started on financial maths... And that's all i really needed to say. Apart from my desire to fall in love with someone other than one 500 years old. I mean will is great, but after a while the beard does get annoying.....

Ahhh.. Shakespeare. How i adore thee!

Life's been ok. I am going to change my relationship status to in a relationship with shakespeare. Mmm 500 year old dead guys and beards really do it for me. haha. I am yet to meet my shakespeare!! His sonnets = <3 .

Should be studying for a maths test but i am too nervous and really good at procrastinating..... I should take some nurofen and go to bed.....

I'm going to start a new blog! I feel like i've moved on from the person represented here, like i've moved on to a new stage.... So keep posted.

Sweet dreams.

Well hello blog! I am sitting in the tafe library after being slightly crazy.. so now I sit here and type meaninglessly to pass time and to look like I am doing some work. Bleh. Wasn't feeling so good but now feeling ok! I should take iron tablets. Poetry is going well... and thats about it really. Nothing new or exciting, had a bit of an existential crisis today but hey, who doesn't? Need to catch up on everyone else's blogs, have lost lots of time to poetry obsession, but its good. Weeee. Poetry = love.