Yes I have hayfever. o.0.

And lol my sister has been in my room and left the mail in here- and how IRONIC that a booklet on 'talking with your kids about drugs' is on my dressing table because she left it here. Lol, maybe i should give it to some people in our grade.

Youth was really great tonight. We video recorded a song, so its like a video clip now. And yay (somewhere) i'll be on it! woooooo.......

Anyway sleep calls. Goodnight.

Spring is here! I know because i think i have hayfever. XD. So i'll be taking some hayfever tablets tomorrow haha. Well i think i'll be like one of the only people in my grade at school tomorrow because tonight, well right now, is our year 11 formal. I didn't go and now i think i have finally come to terms with my decision. Yes, i chose not to go. ALthough i did choose a concert over the formal and now i don't think i am going to that concert, i did choose not to go. And now i am finally ready to say that yes, my mum didn't like the sound of it and i really did want to go, but i guess I didn't really feel safe. And I'm going to be obedient to God and i guess that's all i can do. "Do not conform any longer to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test God's will...." or something along those lines. I just feel like something bad was going to happen there tonight.. and maybe nothing will happen!! But i'm going to trust God.. and that's all i can do. You know, one thing i've noticed throughout my life is that i am incredibly stubborn. But also i have a tendency to stand strong in my opinion- whether i stand strong verbally is another matter- but i have never really backed down on my 'morals' if you want to call them that. I won't do something everyone else is if it compromises what i believe in and what i stand for. Also, if i am just being incredibly stubborn, i won't do what others tell me to do :P. I really dislike the feeling of being pushed into a mould or a box and having other peoples expectations thrown on me and to act or be like who everyone wants me to be. And i know i might ramble about this way too much.. but i guess i am human, and by me rambling on about all this stuff i guess i am reaffirming my beliefs and my belief in myself. If i can be completely honest with you the last two weeks have been rather hard. And the last few days.. have been like woaha. I'm struggling, but i am getting there. I really would have loved to go the formal, but my conscience wouldn't let me go. And it's much harder to go against the crowd that to stand along with it. That's right. Picture the salmon trying to get upstream. Classic image. Except my motive, unlike the salmon, is not to go against the flow to get upstream and find a mate. It's just that all today people were like 'who are you going as to the formal??' like allll day.. i love fancy dress! but i am being obedient and yeahhh... (i should probably explain the circumstances.. supposedly there will be more people from other schools than my school and there will be looooads of stuff that shouldn't be there)... I dunnno. i've just got to be strong i guess and i believe that it was for a reason. This blog is a lot more personal haha. I feel a bit vulnerable writing all this up and everyone being able to read it.. o.0 . Anyway i'll leave you blog with a bible verse i found this morning: "Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed" says the LORD who has compassion on you." Isaiah 54:10 So I'm going to go and have a shower, wash my hair. It's always great to wash your hair. I think I am learning how to be obedient to God and to have the self discipline to follow it through kind thing. Whatever it is, i'm sure its for a reason... hmm somewhere it says 'lean not on your own understanding'. I don't understand. So I trust God. :D.

I would just like to say, that I don't think anyone is more 'cool' because they drink. If anything, if you brag to me about how you got so drunk last night you couldn't remember anything, i just start thinking how uncool they are. Yeah, i still respect you as a person and the choices you make, but please don't rub it in my face. My decision is not to go crazy and drink til i can't remember anything. My decision is to wait, and enjoy the taste. Don't make me feel inferior. And don't talk to me like i am in experienced. Just because you've had 'x' amount of hangovers, doesn't mean you're more experienced than I am. It just means that you've had more headaches. I don't mind hearing about it, but if someone makes me feel inferior about this because I haven't done anything I just get annoyed. If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything. Especially when you've had too much to drink. You've got your choices, and I've got mine. I respect you and now it's time to respect my decisions. :D!

Sorry, random rant. Just needed to get that out of me. :D. Yay for blogs.

Well I went to the Sydney Uni Open day yesterday. I'm in love. Head over heels. I am DEFINITELY going to Sydney Uni. I just feel so comfortable and at home there.. the buildings are beautiful!! :D. I went with Ashleigh, Tavis, Serena and Hayley-Jayne... we all went to the courses we wanted to see and everything and I bought a sydney uni note book!! Weee it looks so great.. (except now i have 6 new unused notebooks and I have come to the conclusion that i am slightly obsessed with notebooks.. although it's fair to say that I got a whole heap of notebooks (YAY) for my birthday, so i didn't purchase all of them :P.) Anyway, Sydney Uni is tops, and i can't wait to be there in 2009. *eeeeeeek omgosh HSC*.

This week has been interesting... I'm still behind in my school work and my social life apart from going to Sydney Uni is non existent. But i think that's the way its going to be for quite a while. Let's see how long its going to take for me to go insane.. I'm guessing just before prelims. I'll die. Sanity death wise, not physically. Yeaaaah.

It's really interesting seeing how people relate, and how people have changed. I reckon a lot of life is about growing as a person- and that growth comes from how you handle situations. Will you rise above them, step on top of them or will you just stay complaining about how things never worked out when I was 5 because my big brother didn't give me a lolly? lol, i mean obviously the past is going to influence your future, but it will either be positive or negative. I love it how God can heal the bits in your past that hurt and stop you from moving forward, and then by Him healing your heart, you can then go into the future.

*new topic* My sister and I had this random arguement the other day about how she thought it was sad that I was 17 and 'had never been kissed' or had a boyfriend. (lol, haha the first guy i kissed was like when I was 6 or 7, in a garden shed, when we were getting married. Lol, i guess thats not really a proper thing.. oh and LOL last year at HAA.. that's right.. the 'first' guy i accidently kissed was gay hahahahaha. Ok i hope if you are reading this you can tell i'm being silly in these brackets.. :P) The thing is, I don't believe that my life would be any more complete by having that boyfriend or having that first kiss. I mean sure, it would be great, but i really don't see anything working out with anybody at this time in my life. Lol, and anyway i need to focus on my hsc. A lot of people think that they need a significant other but for me i think i would rather wait. Until i'm at uni, finished school... that kinda thing. Lol because i know when i meet a guy that i would love to spend the rest of my life with, i think i'd just go head over heels (haha more so than my love for sydney uni). And i don't believe that every teenager should have to go through their first love and their first heartbreak and their first whatever. And I'm not going to use 'love' to fill a hole or to complete me.

ANYWAY sorry massive long ramble. I need to finish my AH speech. Hope you are all well and healthy (stay away from the flu!!) and have a great week!! xox

P.s. My haircut is working :D!

WOW. I got a hair cut. And it's rather short. WOW. Hehe light and breeeeezy. No more stupid ugly fat gross under layer.Weee... it's just a bit longer than my chin. And i looks good bobby pinned back. Wee... so happy with it! I had to straighten it but it was sooo worth it.

When i take some pics I'll post them here. It was rather funny, there was a long line to get your hair cut at John Brennan, so I made an appointment at another hair dresser for 1pm. I went back to see how much it would cost, and it would have cost me $79! For a hair cut! I was shocked! So i was like sorry that's too expensive.. and went back to John Brennan. :D. My hair feels so different.. but good :D. Yes! I finally have a haircut.

It's a really nice change. Because I've started a change, well more like I've gone to God, ok I reallllllly neeed to change. I reallly need self discipline. And I found this verse.. "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self discipline."- 2 Timothy 1:7. So that means on of the 'fruits of the spirit' is... SELF DISCIPLINE! Wow, yup, i was amazed. But it works. I've been going to bed at 9:30 the last two nights (Lol I only started this 2 days ago) been really working on school work and not wasting time (apart from now since I am writing this blog.) but its been great. It takes 28 days to make or break a habit, so in 28 days man I'm going to be super Emily! It's really nice to be disciplined with my bed time and get sleep (i really need it) and to be able to work and then do the things I want to do. It's like you do all the school work first, then in the night I get to do things, like write in my journal :D. I'm also having my shower in the night time so I have time in the morning to pray. I know these are only little things, but they make you feel so great! It's like a mini lifestyle change. Feeels goood!

Anyway I've got to go and finish my (well more like start) my S & C essay. I've practically finished my English Extension essay *yay* so i'm getting there! I've still got a heap of work to catch up on after being sick, but I'll get it done eventually :)!.

Have a good weekend!

Wow, I never thought Rocka would cause this much controversy!

*click here*

I wasn't involved in Rocka this year at my school.. last year I did backstage crew and that was very interesting. I managed to build some muscles up. Yeaha, i know that sounds funny, me with muscles! But I did! We had to lift these enormous flats... o.0. However, those muscles have now turned into pieces of mush, that sometimes decide to make a quarter of a comeback and then die.

I've been reading this book called Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge. And it's so amazing and beautiful- it's about the womans soul. And how each woman (and man, but this is in a different book for men) has a question that needs to be answered. And where women get this question answered can be all over the place. Here is a part of the blurb on the back cover: "The message of Captivating is this: Your heart maters more than anything else in all creation. The desires you had as a little girl and the longings you still feel as a woman- they are telling you of the life God created you to live. He offers to come now as the Hero of your story, to rescue your heart and release you to live as a fully alive and feminine woman. A woman who is truly captivating." I know it sounds a bit mushy... but it is beautiful. I haven't even finished reading the book, and i just feel so beautiful and loved. I'm amazed that God actually loves me this much, and longs to play a big part in all of our lives. And that longing that all women have, that question of am i lovely? can all be fulfiled and answered by God. I encourage you if you are a man, to read Wild at Heart by John Eldredge and if you are a woman, to read Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge. It will change your life! I know I am only 17, and I probably fit into more of the teenage category rather than the woman's category, but if it has helped me, imagine what it could do for an actual woman in her 20's/30's/40's/50's etc? And all you teenage boys and men, read Wild at Heart if not for me, but for the benefit for you and your future wife. Better still, if you are a couple, grab a copy of each, read it and then talk about it together!

Well i think thats enough advertising haha. But seriously, these books will change your life! I'm just going to leave you with my two favourite bible verses at the moment. When I read them both, i just feel so loved and blessed to have God in my life..

1 Corinthians 13:1-13

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Jeremiah 29:11-14

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you", declares the LORD.

Ooh I love these bible verses at the moment.. <3

Wow. Yes, i have created another blog. But i really like this, it's so cool!!! The layout and the whole vibe to it its really great. Well goodbye, as i have more important things to do at the moment. Couple of essays and a to do list that i really need to write. Bye!